From the Desk of...
Michael Meloth, professor of teacher education

February 27, 2004

I’ve been a professor of teacher education for over 17 years, I think. During this time I have frequently overheard students discussing the peculiarities of their professors. Some profs, apparently, are so absent-minded that they are lucky to remember to wear a clean shirt.

Others are seemingly so demagogic that the only things students learn in class is that they can’t wait for the course to be over. Sill others are so boring that they seem to put even themselves to sleep during their lectures.

It’s true that academia is very tolerant of the eccentricities of its faculty. And it is also true that some of us might not survive a week in the real world, so it’s not surprising that you sometimes snicker at us for our strange behavior. But don’t snicker too much, we talk about you, too.

I’ve changed the names below for the sake of confidentiality. You might be happy to know that I met all of these students when I was working at my former positions in Colorado and Michigan. I haven’t met any of these students at Albion College. Yet.

Suzie “I want to be a Kindergarten Teacher because I’m Illiterate” Harmond made me wonder about my own reality. I like to talk to my students about why they want to be teachers. Suzie had given deep thought to her career choice. One day she offered to me that she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher because she couldn’t read. But that posed no problem, because kintergartners can’t either! In case you’re wondering, her boyfriend read her textbooks to her aloud (which would have been quite romantic if she was, say, a poetry major). She got mad at me when she found out I told the dean she ought to be dropped from our program. She should have read the handwriting on the wall after our conversation. Oh wait, she couldn’t read.

Ryan “Know It All” Bodrinski: Ryan was the smartest student I’ve ever taught. Teaching, he was often willing to explain, was 90 percent intuition and 20 percent intimidation (in his defense, he wasn’t a math major).

He was so smart that he didn’t need theory research to learn how to teach; the only thing necessary was his prodigious intellectual prowess. With this, he figured out all by himself such essential teacher stuff like how to motivate students (“Just tell them to sit down, shut up, and make an effort!”), how to help students learn (“Tell them to sit down, shut up, and make an effort!”), and how to organize lessons (“Just tell them to sit down, shut up, and make an effort!).

Boy, I could have saved years of reading all those pedantic journal articles if I’d had him in class my first year as a professor. I salute you, Ryan. You were able to endure four wasted years at college learning stuff you already knew.

I close by issuing a challenge to both students and faculty. Send me your “Who’s goofier, us or them?” examples (no names, please) and I’’ll compile a list. At the end of the semester I will let you know the of the winners in each category. Thank you in advance for your contributions and if I’ve offended anyone, well, it won’t be the first time.