Achy Breaky, Bad Mistake-Y? An intrepid writer goes inside the world of mulletsgalore.com
By Sarah Granlund
Staff Editor

A mullet is any of a family of edible, spiny-rayed fishes found in fresh and salt waters and having a small mouth and feeble teeth, or as more popularly known, any haircut which the sides and top of the hair are significantly shorter than the back. Looking for a website about the fish one day, I came upon www.mulletsgalore.com, a site devoted to the popular '80s trailer trash hairstyle.

Perhaps the first link one should click on upon entering the site is the vocabulary link. Here you will find the definitions of all the terms needed to truly understand the essence of mullets.

This site's most prominent feature is "Mullet of the Week." Every Friday, a new mullet picture is added to the collection, along with the correct term for the mullet. These terms are invented by the site's producers and include counterintellimullet and handimullet. Each mullet of the week is also given a mullet rating from one to ten and places where you might spot a sad, sad person sporting that particular mullet.

Under the "Random Mullet Archive" there are some pictures that are frankly quite frightening. Highlights include a baby with a mullet, a toddler with a mullet, some women with mullets, and lots and lots of men. And not a single one of them are in any way attractive. Big Surprise.

"Mullet Hunt" is another lovely link. It features true testimonials of mullet hunters and the hurdles they jumped to obtain pictures of lame-ass people. If you yourself have a mullet story and pictures, you can submit them to the site and show how much you have wasted your Albion College education.

For those of you with a true mullet obsession, there is a merchandise section. Stickers, a T-shirt and even a calendar are on sale here. I would say they priced reasonably. But they aren't. And you can only send cash. And stuff takes six weeks to reach you. So the merchandise section really isn't that great.

The Pleiad staff and I spent quite a lot of unproductive time laughing at the mullets featured on this site. We gloated that we weren't as ugly as the people pictured. We outright roared at the trashiness. We cried while reading the mullet hunter testimonials. And we left knowing we had wasted a part of our lives that we could never reclaim.